1. Clever things I have said by accident :-

i. (In a discussion about preferences of flavor of Walkers crisps)
Me: "Urrgh, Chicken crisps are fowl"

ii. (In a discussion about the flaws in the teaching methods of Mr. Miyagi in the film 'The Karate Kid' with particular reference to the part where he gets him to paint a garden fence)
Nic: "That's not going to help him in a fight, he should have tied the paint brush to his hand and got him the punch it"
Me: "Yeah, but its all about defense (de fence = the fence! Get it?)"

2. Clever things I wish I'd said :-

i. (In an English Language lesson discussion about tenses)
Teacher: "You don't say I ran, you say-?"
What I wish I had said: "Persia?"

In other news

It was my brother's birthday a couple of days ago and I made him this as a card: