Up until quite recently the world of spam has been all "Hello, I'm a the son of a Nigerian Diplomat" and "SAVE 82%: VIAGR*, AMBIE*, CIALI*, XANA*, RIVOTRI*, LEVITR*, CIPRO, MERIDI*, CELEBRE*, VALIU*". The trend at the moment, however, seems to be for these emails to contain an apparently random selection of words sitting at the bottom of them or sometimes acting as the sole content. Previously I had thought this random and disjointed text, though beautiful in its own way, to be the result of random text generators bunging together words and extracts from other texts in an attempt to trick junk mail filters into believing that theses inbox swamping annoyances were written by real people.

That was before I came across and purchased the book Tarantula. It was then that I discovered that the musician, poet, artist, genius, epitome of cool and author of this particular book, Bob Dylan, is actually responsible for this apparent nonsense and may in fact be the most prolific spammer in the world.

aretha/ crystal jukebox queen of hymn & him diffused in drunk transfusion wound would heed sweet soundwave crippled & cry salute to oh great particular el dorado reel & ye battered personal god but she cannot she the leader of whom when ye follow, she cannot she has no back she cannot . . . beneath black flowery railroad fans & fig leaf shades & dogs of all nite joes, grow like arches & cures the harmonica battalions of bitter cowards, bones & bygones while what steadier louder the moans & arms of funeral landlord with one passionate kiss rehearse from dusk & climbing into the bushes with some favorite enemy ripping the postage stamps & crazy mailmen & waving all rank & familiar ambition than that itself, is needed to know that mother is not a lady . . . aretha with no goals, eternally single & one step soft of heaven/ let it beunderstood that she owns this melody along with her emotional diplomats & her earth & her musical secrets

with Pickup. This replica rugged men who played during era leather helmets knickers. Measures inches long The line popular monster trucks. Finely detailed right down shocks that comprise takes backseat one. Stark colors logos liberal Few cars general sportster loved With vivid hood roof side panels doors makes great addition kids toy Rooftop Santa pitter patter feet rooftop jolly gents return Sixth series much moment holiday lore. Spread good cheer reason not satisfied within days full refund asked Alba. fits Nascar racetrack fix smoking Soccer

best places learn about animals and exercise wellkept local zoo. Heres how most visit: Choose right time plan Remember manners Learn includes trivia ready next trip summer days these fun ideas: Explore: Go Bug Safari Teach kid ride bike Play Best Backyard Plan night Easy Summer Meals Not all foods are created equal. healthy delicious dishes tonight: Grilled Salmon Salad Lowfat Potato

possible avoiding holes bottles littering Santa

Answers variety commonly asked valid Guide: Federal State These forms available PDF format. order view and/or print

It seems quite clear that all three above extracts are written by the same person and that that person is Dylan. Obviously not content to be releasing what looks like will be an excellent album, to be recording a fantastic weekly radio show and to be continuing the Never Ending Tour, he also feels the need to distribute his surreal prose to the email clients across the world. However, I, for one, am very happy that he has decide to do this and will now set about analysing these message to see what hidden ideas and meanings they contain - to dig out what truths they contain about Dylan's philosopical and religious stances, I will return when I have found them. Goodbye.

I am an investigative journalist.

Almost a year ago today, I got the results of my AS levels posted to me through the, um, post. Today, almost a year after this event, I went to school to collect my A level result. I entered the school building a nervous wreck, walked into the main hall, and paced alongside the long tables - scattered with envelopes. Searching for one that bore my moniker, that would contain the two sheet of paper that will shape my future.


It was a while before I realised that I was not in Year 12, and in fact Year 13, but once I had I quickly made my way across to the side of the room where the Year 13 result were to be found. I located the white paper jacket which I so desperately sought and removed with haste the information from within that I coveted so intensely. It was as follows:


General Studies - B

Religious Studies - A

Product Design - C

English Language - A


Though of course these results mean nothing - A levels are so easy I could have just done a little bit of sick on my exam paper, smeared it around, waited for it to dry, crudely scraped out the shape of a dead badger and still received the same (if not better) grades - I am very happy with them.

I like The Beatles, I like them because I like their music, I especially like George because he is cool. The best thing about The Beatles though, is that they are funny. I found a number of videos on YouTube to illustrate this.


The Beatles do the play-within-a-play from 'Midsummer Night's Dream'



I am going to see a production of Midsummer Night's Dream on Wednesday. I hope it is as good as this.


The Beatles on the Morecambe & Wise Show



This is funny - Paul Merton cited this clip as the reason he started liking The Beatles. At the end it is hard to hear but Eric says "Only got a little dad have you?".


'The Ad Lav Club' - a sketch from Not Only But Also with John Lennon



I have never seen this clip before, despite having 'The Best of What's Left of Not Only But Also' download to my computer. Peter Cook is a god and this is actually one of the better clips from that show.


The infamous 'Rattle your Jewelry' comment



This is good.

As may be apparent from the subject line of this post, in the last week I have been to Paris and seen a sweary coach.





It was probably German.


I also took a load of other pictures of Paris: Look at them, especially the pigeon ones.


You may also deduce from this post's title that I was called a 'moron' by the owner of the Best page in the Universe, Maddox. I have made this claim because it is true, and here is the evidence:





This came about because B3ta did its first interview in a while, with Maddox as it's subject, and taking suggestions for questions from B3ta boarders. I think this is my highest level of fame yet, even better than being quoted in the Leicester Mercury.

This website has got together a load of web celebrities (tron guy, the subservient chicken and even Joel Veitch's kittens) to promote the fight for a neutral, fair and free internet - a good cause.

To celebrate the release of the Miami Vice film, I have released the following image:



B3ta post

Madness Temple post