Frequently Asked Questions

These are the frequently asked questions, the most important are linked to at the top but the are more if you scroll down.

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Questions

• Animal, vegetable or mineral?
• Who are you, where am I and where are the otters?
• How old are you?
• Do you have any favorite websites?
• How do you make all the things on this website?
• Do you have any pets?
• What music do you like?
• What do you like on TV?
• Do you like films?
• How can I ask you a question?

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Animal, vegetable or mineral?

Huh? What are you talking about?

Is this not twenty questions?

No, you silly person, this is a FAQ, Frequently asked Questions, you know, question that are frequently asked.

Oh, sorry, my mistake, it won't happen again.

Good, I forgive you.

Thank you, you're a really nice guy, you know?

Yeah, I do know, just get on with the questions. ok.

Oh, yeah, right, just let me find them, ummm...

for fucks sake

...ah, got them, groovy, alright, lets get to work, okay, first question, question number one, 'numero uno' as they say in belguim...

go on

Ok, here we go... Who are you, where am I and where are the otters?

I am Joe Pick. I live in a village called Hungarton in Leicestershire, England. I am eighteen years of age and go to Beauchamp College where I am currently studying Product Design, English Language and Philosopy and Ethics for A2 The University of Nottingham where I am studying Philosopy. You are at www.joep.org.uk, it is my personal website and contains my blog and pictures and things that I have made for b3ta. I am sorry but you will find no otters here, try this instead.

How old are you?

I just answered that, what is wrong with you? At least make some attempt to adapt the questions to what I am saying. God. I repeat, I am EIGHTEEN, I was born on the 27^th of December, 1987, that was eighteen years ago, I am therefore eighteen years old.

Sorry, again, umm...Do you have any favorite websites?

Yes, yes I do. Most of them are linked via buttons on this site's homepage. My particular favorites, however, are b3ta, 4rthur and Madnesstemple.

Wait a minute, all three of those websites have message boards, does this mean you have a user profile on each of them?

Yes, yes it does. Here you go:

• B3ta
• 4rthur
• Madnesstemple

How do you make all the things on this website?

Well, it's an interesting story really, I make all my images using Paint Shop Pro, which I sometimes use a Wacom Graphics Tablet with, and I made the website using Macromedia Dreamweaver MX. I highly recommend all these things.

Do you have any pets?

I have two Cats called Felix and Sylvester, a hamster called Clinton and two chickens called Hendrix and Goat. They are all very nice.

Clinton

Felix

and more Felix

I have heard that you like music, what kind of music do you like?

I like all kinds of music, if you wanted to get an overall idea of the type of music that I listen to I suppost you could look a my Audioscrobble account which is located here, it generates charts of all the music that I listen to.

However, if you want to know who my favorite recording artist is, I can tell you that it is Bob Dylan, I am convinced that he is not only the greatest musician of all time but also one of the greatest people of all time. My top five Dylan tracks are as follows:

1. My Back Pages - Another Side of Bob Dylan
2. All Along the Watch Tower - John Wesley Harding
3. Like A Rolling Stone - Highway 61 Revisited
4. It's All Over Now Baby Blue - Bringing It All Back Home
5. Tangled Up In Blue - Blood On The Tracks

This list often changes, however it probably always comes back to these five.

Forget that - they change too often. Here are my favorite albums:

1. Desire
2. Bringing it All Back Home
3. Blonde On Blonde
4. Bob Dylan Live 1975 (The Bootleg Series Volume 5)
5. Highway 61 Revisited

How about TV, what do you like about that?

I mostly like comedy, I like it alot. My favorite shows are:

• The Office
• Peep Show
• Phonix Nights
• Fawlty Towers
• Brass Eye
• Father Ted
• The Royle Family
• The Fast Show
• Goodness Gracious Me
• Will and Grace
• My Name Is Earl
• Have I Got News For You
• Nevermind The Buzzcocks
• QI
• The Young Ones
• Blackadder
• Black Books
• The Simpsons
• Futurama
• Green Wing
• Arrested Development
• Curb Your Enthusiasm
• The Thick Of It

I may have left some out.

Do you also like Films?

Yes.

I'm getting better at this aren't I? I could be the next Paxman.

Lets just stick to the question, yeah.

You haven't answered my question.

Yes, because the Frequently Asked Questions are about to be about me and my websi -

Am I getting better at this or not?

This question is not releva -

Am I getting better at this or not?

If you ask that question again, I'll get somebody else to read the FAQ, I warn you now.

Don't try and threaten me Mr Pick, please.

Right, just shut up. Got it.

yes. sorry.

Good

*awkward silence*

Actually, no, I'm not sorry, I've just realised something. These aren't real frequently asked questions are they 'Joe', if that is your name, I doubt if they have even been asked once. This whole thing is a scam.

Errr...well...umm, ye - I mean - no, there not real but they, umm, they raise all the issues that need to be, err, raised. If people want to contact me and ask me, um, question that are, like, real, they can use the Contact page or, if they don't like forms or something, they could just email me through their own email client at joe@joep.org.uk. So it doesn't matter, so there.

Oh, well, Bye.

Yeah, Bye.

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